I know you’ve been thinking about body detox. Otherwise you wouldn’t have come onto this site, sniffing out information. And my guess is that you’ve come here for a definitive list of what detox systems work, of whether you should go with teas or pre-mixes, or sludge, or simply pay the hundreds of dollars for that colonic you’ve always known you should have gotten but have up until now avoided. Well, my friend: it’s a new day. Healthful living is popularized because health care itself is getting prohibitively more expensive.

At this point, you might as well give it a try, right? We couldn’t agree more. On the other hand if you’re looking for a definitive guide that tells you what detox to use, where to go to find them, or if you’re looking for tips on how to recognize whether any specific body detoxification program is right for you, this particular article is bound to be a disappointment. I honestly wish I knew more about it, or had taken the time in Health class to figure out a way to concoct a great body detox on my own. I was too busy making pipes out of apples.

Failure to do so will rob those Millenials of their parents. And by “their parents,” my friends, I mean us. Our last-ditch efforts to hold onto the ripple-effects of the sixties and seventies (since we were born in the seventies and eighties) is resulting in higher obesity rates and dramatic increases in health problems like heart disease, lung conditions, hypertension, and diabetes. And the last time I checked, none of us were getting any younger.

In essence, mine is the last generation to need to make sure our hearts aren’t going to give out by the time we’re thirty-five. Body detox is one way to help ensure that.

So while my children’s generation, through the reflection of our generation’s example, are probably safe, it’s us– those of us who are, now, building our families and starting our lives in earnest, who’ve squeezed out the last few drops of hedonism from this ever-increasingly pure society so that those kids could survive without having to, like us, find body detox mixtures at least once per year.